If you're a good bike handler, you don't need to wear a helmet.
(I'm so stupid a brain injury wouldn't hurt me)
(All I had for a 4-hour ride was a half empty bottle of month old O.J. and a moldy twinkie)
I do all my own bike maintenance.
(When I squeeze the front brake lever, the bike shifts gears)
This section of trail looks doable
(You first sucker)
Well, lets take it easy today
(Ready, set, GO!)