Since I'm a minimum of 45 minutes to any MTB trails, I finally caved and bought a road bike. It's a 1988 Raleigh Technium Trilite, all original and in good working order. I paid $150 for it and spend ~$150 more on shoes and cleats for the Look pedals that it came with. I'm going to leave it original, as apparently some people collect these bikes. I'd be willing to trade it for a similar Cannondale that I wouldn't mind making some changes to.
If (big if) I come across some "extra" money, I want to get a turquoise Brooks Colt saddle for it to match the paint job